


where you'll find me hiding (waiting for you)

by briwookie



Category: South Park
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 18:11:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12463143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/briwookie/pseuds/briwookie
Summary: Kyle, in an act of loneliness, walks drunkenly to Cartman's house with more than just his woes to spare.(Drabble requested that I had too much fun with).





	where you'll find me hiding (waiting for you)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shortstackedcheesecake96](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shortstackedcheesecake96/gifts).



> Gifting this to shortstackedcheesecake/kyman, another amazing writer within the community that I've had the pleasure of talking to in the past few weeks. She's amazing, go check out her work! I hope you enjoy this, dear, or at least as much as I've enjoyed your fics.
> 
> The drabble request was: "I'm right here, okay?" (And come on, for Kyle/Cartman, emotions abound).
> 
> Also, the song used for the reference with this song, "The Space Between," by the Dave Matthews Band (this cover in particular: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9DS4ttnhIE)

Kyle wasn’t a heavy drinker. 

There were moments when he’d  _really_ need it - honestly, he figured that was how most people operate. When one would need a crutch, they’d storm into their liquor cabinet and pop out what worked best.

Lately, however, he found that spending more time away from the guys during a long summer before college was more pain than pleasure. He was starting to get lonelier than ever, and with his family out of the house for their own things, it was starting to get to him.

So, Gerald’s scotch and brandy fit the ticket just fine.

Tonight though, Kyle wasn’t sure when to stop. Everyone was gone for the weekend and Kyle could feel the pre-moving stress claw at him like a desperate animal. He was clutching onto his Thor cup while his eyes were glued on the Yale acceptance letter on his desk. There was a second he thought he was going to throw up, but instead he pushed himself off and grabbed the closest jacket he could find. He needed to get out of this sinkhole for a while.

It must have been close to midnight, but Kyle didn’t care. He was too preoccupied with keeping his feet on the sidewalk. Colors of dark blues and grays were beginning to mix in his vision, and eventually a familiar green was all he could see. He realized he was standing in front of Cartman’s house.

“Why the fuck...” Kyle was starting to ask himself. How the hell did he walk over here? He was going to start walking the other way before someone came out the front door, and it wasn’t Liane.   


Cartman was dressed in a thick sweatshirt, his hands deep in his jeans. Kyle wasn’t going to beat around the bush when he thought Cartman was fucking  _attractive_ after they got into high school. He fit into his body so well, and could definitely pull off a good beard (not that he’d keep it for long, unfortunately). Maybe it was some kind of weird gay intuitive thing, but Kyle would never oppose it if Cartman stopped being an asshole and actually cared enough to pull him in for a kiss now and then.

Regardless, Cartman had his own agenda. Graduate, and then get the fuck out of Colorado. In a way, Kyle admired his motivation in a way that he could relate, leaving the state (and South Park) and never looking back, but in others, the loneliness that spawned from something neither of them would know haunted him. He was prepared to live his life with the misfortune of never knowing what.

“Jew?” Cartman asked, seeing Kyle in the driveway. Kyle blinked to himself, knowing that was him for sure, before sending an embarrassed grin.   


“Uh...hey.”   


“What the fuck are you doing out here? Aren’t your balls getting frostbite?” Cartman started walking towards him before realizing Kyle was shaking back and forth. It took him a couple seconds before registering the situation. 

“Holy shit, you’re drunk. Fine, I guess I’ll let you in before you pass out in the cold.”   


“You really...don’t have to, Cartman. I can just go ho-”

Kyle was starting to say something before he felt his stomach lurch. He brought a hand to his chest before he bent over, throwing up on the front lawn. Cartman groaned as Kyle stared at the mess.

“Dude, seriously? Are you fucking cereal right now?” Cartman grabbed Kyle by the arm and started leading him inside. “You’re definitely coming in.”

Kyle was going to say something about the forceful way Cartman was pulling him, or the way that Cartman actually sounded somewhat  _concerned_ for him, but he kept it in. When they were inside, Cartman flipped the lights on and Mr. Kitty looked up from the floor. She looked like she was just waiting for him, and Kyle felt that Cartman was about to head off somewhere.

"Did you have plans?" Kyle asked, almost throwing up again just with the smell off his breath. Cartman pointed towards the couch before heading into the kitchen, not saying a word. Kyle just sat down on the couch and waited until he saw Cartman come back out with a glass of water.

"Alright, soak it down." Cartman pushed the cup of water into Kyle's hand along with a paper towel. When Kyle wiped his face, Cartman sat down on the opposite side while shrugging off his sweatshirt.

"Er, thanks Cartman. For the drink, and..." Kyle started but Cartman just chuckled.

"I don't really know anyone that walks out of the house when they're that drunk, but I guess you prove yet  _another_ thing, Jew."

"It's not normally this bad." Kyle muttered, taking another drink but wishing he could take a shower instead. He flushed slightly at the idea of showering in Cartman's house with Liane not around.

"Where's your mom, anyways? Working?" Kyle asked. Cartman shrugged while taking his shoes off.

"Who knows at this point...do you, uh, want some medicine?"

Kyle blinked. He couldn't believe Cartman was being this hospitable. 

"No, thanks. Water helped plenty."

"You're talking fine, but I can still tell you're out of it with how red your face is, Jesus. How much did you drink?" Cartman asked. Kyle looked down in his cup in what felt like embarrassment.

"Um. Some brandy? It really doesn't feel like I had that much..."

"That's what all drunk people say. " Cartman sighed. "They drink a lot more than they thought they did, and then they end up a wreck. What're you going to do about getting home?"

A fragment of worry passed in Kyle's train of thought. He didn't mind walking back home, if he could even do such a thing without walking in front of a car, but this couch felt comfortable, and company from Cartman felt comfortable. Everything just felt at ease here. 

Kyle glanced back at Cartman who had been staring at him for the last minute, who just rolled his eyes.

"Well, I guess you can just crash here for the night."

"Thanks, Cartman." Kyle hiccupped lightly. "I really...appreciate it."

"Yeah, well, you definitely owe me one. I'm going to go upstairs and find an extra blanket."

When Cartman headed upstairs, Kyle took off his jacket where only a white shirt was underneath. He put it on the arm of the couch before he brought his knees to his chest. He fished his phone out and texted Sheila letting her know where she was. Even to this day, Kyle wanted to let them know where he was, it was a habit that was drilled into him.

Cartman walked back down and handed Kyle a blue blanket. "Don't get your nipples frozen, or whatever."

"It's not even that cold down here, but tha-" Kyle started before looking at the blanket closely. He felt a familiarity from looking at it but didn't say anything else. He could hardly remember where it was from.

Cartman grabbed a soda from the fridge and sat down with Kyle on the couch.  It was a Dr. Pepper, which was so typical as it was one of Cartman's favorite drinks. Kyle chuckled, even their tastes in favorite sodas were different. Cartman raised an eyebrow.

"What's funny?"

"Nothing, just...I feel like we haven't hung out in a while." Kyle smiled. It was true – not just for the summer, but even senior year felt scattered when it came to the two of them. It wasn't anything the two of them could've helped, just being busy and distracted. If Kyle remembered correctly, the last time they did spend time together was...

"Oh yeah, Token's pool party back in April." Cartman laughed. "Did his parents even realize half of us came high?"

"Well, by the looks his mom gave us, I'm sure." Kyle said. He felt drunk and dizzy but talking to Cartman still came easy to him. It was like something nature intended – that through all the shit that could happen, talking to the fatass was automatically so  _easy_ compared to other people.

Cartman looked to the side and Kyle could make faint memories of it – the way Stan carried ten different water balloons from his truck just to strike Craig down into the pool, how Kenny was trying to have some girl give him a handjob in the water. Then, Kyle remembered what kind of swimsuit Cartman wore – dark red with flames at the bottoms, the kind that he'd typically make fun of with other people but with Cartman he pulled it off just right.

"It was...crazy." Kyle recalled. 

He couldn't understand why but he could feel some sentimental sadness come from the memories and as tears prickled at the edges of his eyes, he looked down.

He didn't want to cry in front of Cartman, just for the fact that Cartman would love to shove it in his face about it. It had been ages since he cried in front of someone else, but the alcohol was pushing him to do it, like some kind of neglected need that had been buried inside him. He started wiping his face in quick motions, and Cartman glanced towards him.

"Dude, what the hell?" Cartman asked. He moved in closer on the couch as Kyle tried to not let him see, but he was already crying and couldn't slow down. He was shaking and wanted to run out of the house so Cartman couldn't tease him, but as he held an arm against his eyes, he was stuck. 

"This is fucking stupid, I'm sorry."

"I mean, I think it's...weird you're crying out of nowhere? Damn, you really had a lot to drink, uh..." Cartman rubbed the back of his neck. Kyle knew Cartman wasn't the best at addressing emotional issues, and it wasn't like he expected him to, but Kyle felt an odd relief at knowing he wasn't doing this alone. Cartman's hand was pressed against Kyle's back.

"I don't really know what you have sand in your vagina for, but do you need something? Medicine?"

"You already...asked that." Kyle said. Cartman bit his lower lip.

"Oh. Right. Well, did you...want to tell me what's going on?"

"I just felt sad. My emotions got the better of me, if you want to make fun of me for it, fine." Kyle mumbled and Cartman raised his other hand in defense.

"Geez, you automatically think I'm going to whip out something just for that, and yeah, maybe I would in other situations but a part of me thinks you needed this." Cartman said. Kyle could feel him coming closer and he looked up. Cartman was actually looking sympathetic, which was  _really_ weird and caught him off guard. Kyle sniffed and wiped his eyes again.

"I just haven't seen you guys in a while." Kyle said. "I know you can stomach not talking to the group easier than me, but it's just been a few days. I felt like sooner or later, I was just going to drive myself crazy with nobody to talk to."

"I mean, we leave close to each other, Kyle." Cartman replied. "If you really wanted to hang out with us so bad, then..."

"It's just been difficult." Kyle straightened himself up. "Stan's been doing his own thing with working towards his scholarship and having family issues, and well, you know Kenny. Everytime I try to call him, he's never picking up the phone, or he's off with Craig and them. Honestly? I feel like I've been stranded."

Cartman didn't say anything for a second and Kyle watched his eyes avert.

"I just feel like you guys have other priorities."

"What, you mean the guys including me?" Cartman asked. Kyle could feel a touch of anger in Cartman's voice. "You sound like you've been trying a  _hell_ of a lot trying to get in contact with me these last few months."

"Cartman, what're you talking about?" Kyle asked.

"You think I haven't been wondering if any of guys will try to talk to me? If you'd bother before you run off to college and get your degree without a call, or even a text?" Cartman looked back at Kyle with an intense gaze Kyle hadn't witnessed in a while. 

"Cartman, don't..."

"I was fucking lonely too." Cartman said. He leaned forward, blue eyes burning. "Don't act like I just pushed you away from me. I waited for you to text me, to ask if I wanted to come over. Fuck, Kyle..."

Cartman run his hands over his face and Kyle could feel his heart dropping. 

He wished he could tell Cartman it wasn't all about him. He cried for himself, not for Cartman to rage  _his_ emotions out on him, but then he knew this was what needed to happen. Cartman could keep himself controlled, that was something Kyle envied him for, but he knew there were boundaries. He had seen the aftermath of those boundaries being pushed. Cartman could be fucking scary when he wanted to be, but Kyle knew there was more to Cartman than just the hatred trapped in his words, or the past that he was trying to escape from but that kept following. 

There was more that Kyle knew was between the two of them.

Kyle put a hand on Cartman's arm and squeezed. Both of both were shaking, and even though Cartman wasn't in tears, Kyle knew he wasn't far from it. Cartman looked towards him and took in a breath.

"Hey, I'm..."

"Don't say it. I know." Kyle said. He gave Cartman a light smile. "Me too."

There was a brief silence. Both of them embraced this quiet atmosphere in ways only they could understand. Kyle scooted closer to where they were practically touching. Cartman noticed and held a light pink on his cheeks but Kyle didn’t comment.

"If you really want confirmation, or however the hell you'd say it..." Kyle said, "I did walk to your house, didn't I?"

"And puked on my lawn, yup, like a goddamn professional." Cartman laughed. Kyle punched Cartman's shoulder as they both laughed about it.

"At least I sobered up a  _little_ bit. Now you can't have a complete excuse to make fun of me in the morning." Kyle said. Cartman shook his head and he pressed his knee against Kyle's leg.

"Trust me, I'll still make fun of you senselessly – but I do think we needed this more than either of us would like to admit."

"Yeah." Kyle agreed, pushing his leg back in affirmation. He glanced back towards the blanket and smiled.

"You do know that I need you, right?" Kyle asked.

He caught a surprised look on Cartman's face. Cartman didn't try to avert his eyes again, but there was an awkwardness about him that Kyle found weird. It was this openness between them, an emotional comfort neither of them were adjusted to. 

Cartman nodded. "Well, I'll be here...stuck here for the time being."

"You've always been here. Maybe that was the reason I came here first." Kyle mumbled.

He leaned against Cartman's body heat, his head on the other's shoulder as he adjusted himself to Cartman's comfortable shape. It was welcoming, familiar. Cartman said nothing to oppose this, but opened himself up so Kyle could lean further into him. 

"Because I was the closest?" Cartman asked. 

"Because I knew you'd be there when I needed you to be." Kyle whispered. 

Cartman made a low laugh that felt right because it vibrated against Kyle's side, like an eternal reminder.

"You know I'll always be here, Kyle."


End file.
